They were clearly both very drunk, but the questions keep coming thick and fast (wanting details etc) and I can think of nothing else. My wife is right in saying that things haven't been 'right' for some time - but I cannot accept this as a reason for what happened last night. I just feel so scared for the future - ridiculous as I'm a normally confident guy with a great job and everything appearing wonderful 'on the outside'. I really appreciate the quick responses - more than you'll ever know. I also forgot to mention we have a 5 year old daughter - how could she. I'm in the depths of despair - please help. When I talked about deleting him from twitter etc she didnt seem convinced - she knows she's made a huge mistake and doesnt seem to realise what impact it would have on me if they remained FB friends etc. I've told her all contact with this guy will need to cease (Facebook, twitter, texts, emails etc), although I recognise their paths may cross due to their line of work. I think we both want to make a go of it but my wife (based upon the unhappy period of a few months before last night) doesnt seem so certain, although she is desperate for us to 'try'. To make things worse I've been suspicious about my wife and this 'colleague' for several months now - lots of time spent away working, hundreds of texts (I've now seen them and it is obvious that despite some flirty banter, this was the first time it was acted upon). We have talked and cried for hours and she has said it meant nothing and she saw it as more of a 'shock factor' type moment and in a perverse kind of way she is glad I've found out as it might revive and save our marriage. I'm sure it wouldn't be as bad if she'd told me about it as opposed to me discovering it. I'm not sure I can forgive her as the pain is so intense. We are both 'nice / normal' people who rarely argue and this is so out of character it's unbelievable. Our marriage has been going through a difficuly period for a few months now as we both feel as though we've drifted apart and not sure what we want from life - partly attributed to a feeling of marrying 'too young'. She is the love of my life and I'm totally gutted. We've been together 12 years, married for 8 and 30's. They hadn't had sex, but had done pretty much everything else and I can't get the image out of my head of opening the car door and finding them there on the passenger seat (her straddling him, bra undone, him with hand between her legs. I had been working away for the day and had arranged to meet her and arrived early (it was actually 11pm - the car was on a deserted car park). I discovered my wife straddled on top of another man (that she works with) in our car after a night out that they'd been on (they'd been to an evening function with other people as well and were both drunk). I'm not sure I'm 'allowed' to post on here as a bloke, but I'm hoping for some advice as I don't know what to do and am feeling devastated. I can't quite believe I'm on here posting, but I stumbled across this site this morning whilst trying to make sense of the worst night of my life last night.

Catch a lover wife